The use of the word ‘syndrome’ is just awful as it labels it as an illness, making it a depleting topic to discuss and increasing the vulnerability of individuals experiencing it. What it comes from is a judgement by others that is offered in minute behaviours that we can pick up on that is biological in its force and comes from competition in our human species.

I was given very gendered instructions on who to be whilst growing up by many people around me, which shaped who I am, but ‘imposter syndrome’ has never, ever resonated with me.

I’ve noticed through primarily non-verbal communication cues in others’ behaviour whether someone is judging me negatively or not. If we listen to our instinct carefully enough, we just know it, and it normally happens pretty quickly, if not instantly.

We then revert to animalistic cues ourselves to gain favour, like smiling more (monkeys smile more towards those dominant in the group) or tilting our head and offering wider eyes and more eye contact (think Lady Diana), which are submissive behaviours to gain favour.

But often, the first impression is the one that sticks, and you’re then rowing backwards to represent yourself by offering views that might change someone’s assumption of you to enter into a more equal interaction. Further to this, in our digital age, there is subtle online microaggressions to unpick, such as viewing someone’s profile, so they know you have, but not liking their post, or being actively responsive to messages received by responding to a group chat, but not to an individual message at the same time.

I’ve known this for years and only just started to openly explore what I have been doing to overcome and combat this.As a young achiever in school and into my early career, I saw my impression reflected in the eyes of others as being too young and, therefore, too inexperienced to understand whatever the work was we were discussing.  My bravery and strength sure as hell got me through plenty of those underestimation situations, but today, I want to focus on my armouring.

I know I’ve been doing it for more than 20 years, and perhaps we all do it naturally and subconsciously to some extent, but I know that if we can attend consciously to what we are doing with more skill, we can positively affect outcomes (Cognitive Behavioural Therapeutic approach).

I focus on my physical appearance and style for every important interaction and consider multiple factors that will help me feel I have the ‘armour’ to be strong in the most challenging situations and conversations, board meetings, pitches or speaking events to hundreds of people.

My armour is the clothes, jewellery, and make-up that gives me the confidence to feel comfortable, to feel professional, to feel feminine, to feel strong and limiting negative judgement by others.

My research with women board leaders (The Lodis Forum) uncovered that many female leaders don’t feel able to truly armour themselves with the authentic styles, colours or fashion that truly represent them until they reach a particular level of credibility of expertise or qualification.

Have you seen more women leaders wearing bright glasses, big earrings and huge necklaces, bright lipstick, statement fashion items at an older age? I have.

I went through phases of steadily developing my armour and stepping into my own style, from black trouser suits in my 20s to Boden dresses and boots in my 30s, and then more blazers and scarves and now ties in my 40s.

Having my own bespoke tailored suit (Gresham Blake) was like owning who I am and want to be for the audiences I now talk to and a bold move. Increasing our boldness with fashion is a hard step, but I found made easier by finding something that was really me authentically.

How can I be an imposter in something I chose and designed to be just for me? And I think it shows, I can see in the event reviews and photos that it’s an armour for me to be me and hold back that judgement.

How do you use your style as your armour?

Thanks to Gresham Blake see my insta @alexbaileybackstage for my armouring experience…