In my brief stint as an employee working within corporate, I was always waiting.
Waiting for a pay rise.
Waiting for recognition.
Waiting for promotion.
It was at the tender age of 27 that I gave up wishing and hoping and started my own marketing agency. It felt empowering to take control; to be master of my own destiny even though the road has been full of its own challenges over the years. But entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone – and also, shouldn’t we stay in the game and fight the good fight?
Act more like a man?
For years, we’ve been encouraged to lean in, speak up, negotiate harder, and take the seat at the proverbial table like good little girls with straight backs and strong handshakes.
But here’s the problem: The table wasn’t built for us, and we are often made to feel like an outsider even once we’ve ‘made it.’ I’ve had clients tell me about how they are often spoken over, not listened to and generally made to feel ‘less than’. And so, these brilliant, successful women have quit – and that’s a travesty. Why is this happening? Because some companies promote women to boards just to tick the DEI box, not because they respect their contribution – it’s just a way for them to keep the old boys club going a little longer.
The rules were written decades ago by men in grey suits with stay-at-home wives and full-time secretaries. And while we’ve squeezed ourselves into the game, we’ve also contorted ourselves in the process - changing how we speak, lead, and dress.
I’ve seen vast swathes of women ‘acting’ like men in order to get ahead. I remember once terrifyingly reading an article about women taking testosterone so they could be less emotional and literally be more like a man. WTF? But here’s the truth: We were never meant to blend in. So what do we do?
Let’s stop waiting
Just like I did back in the day, women are still waiting to be invited into leadership. Into opportunity. Into the spotlight. We hesitate. We ‘just want to check we’re qualified enough’ We overthink. We ask: “Am I too much? Am I ready? Am I allowed?” Meanwhile, men are skipping their way into boardrooms they’re barely qualified to sit in - and never questioning if they belong.
Just like that infamous Hewlett Packard internal report ‘Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them.’ The system is never going to hand us the power. So what’s the solution?
Simple. Bring your own chair.
Being a woman is our greatest strength
Let’s be real, the old model of leadership is tired. It’s performative, aggressive, and outdated. The future? It’s female, collaborative, creative, emotionally intelligent, and wildly effective – these are the superpowers of modern leadership.
In fact, studies consistently show that organisations with women in senior leadership roles outperform those without. Why? Because women leaders are more likely to coach and develop their teams, build inclusive cultures, and drive higher engagement.
And this is proven. McKinsey & Company found that companies in the top quartile for gender diversity on their executive teams were 25% more likely to have above-average profitability.
Still, the myths persist:
“Women are too emotional.”
“Women lack authority.”
“Women don’t go hard enough.”
Absolute rubbish.
The data tells a different story. Studies show women outperform men in almost every key leadership metric - from team engagement and collaboration, to ethical decision-making and long-term vision.
The fabulous Simon Sinek said it plainly: “Women make the best CEOs. Not because they lead like men, but because they don’t. Men want me to prove that trusting people, loving people, taking care of people is a good thing for business. Women inherently understand that and make decisions accordingly.”
Stronger together
Let’s be clear: bringing your own chair doesn’t (and can’t) mean doing it alone.
It simply means:
• Backing yourself before anyone else does
• Creating your own opportunities when the system stalls
• Surrounding yourself with other women who are also building, rising, and disrupting
• Being more visible as a leader
• Building a strong personal brand that clearly demonstrates your expertise and demands attention
• Get comfortable having uncomfortable or even challenging conversations
• Working on you, your mindset, your confidence levels
• Supporting other women who need a hand up (collaboration over competition)
Be the change – because as humans, we often need someone to follow; be that role model. A 2022 study found 43% of women believe they would be more successful if they had a female role model in the workplace – so be her.
My ‘why’
This is why I built IGNITE, a space for ambitious women to stop waiting, start owning their brilliance, and build careers, businesses and lives that reflect who they truly are, and supporting organisations that know they need to change and who truly want to embrace it.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur, executive, or emerging leader, you don’t need permission to take up space. You just need support, strategy, and a little reminder of how powerful you already are.
We’ve been taught that there’s one table and a few lucky seats for women who “play the game right.” Forget that. Bring your own chair, and then start pulling up more for the women behind you. Because we’re not here to fit in. We were born to lead, and it’s time to rewrite the rules of leadership.
Are you in?
Natalie Montagnani
Founder of IGNITE Women in Business
07900 153503
Ignitewomeninbusiness.com
